Savannah has a comic vigilante: off-color Facebook page The Stone Stairs of Death. Brianne Halverson and Dan Gilbert swap secrets with the page’s enigmatic creator. Photo by Jessica Furtney.
Why the decision to remain anonymous?
Some of the stuff I post is controversial. It’s honestly all meant to be pure fun, but the last thing I want is to go out for a beer and have some guy to get in a fight with me.
Your secret’s safe with us. What are you trying to do as The Stone Stairs of Death?
I guess I just try to seek out the most ridiculous, weirdest, most hilarious, and seriously f*ed up things that happen in our town and post about them.
The name is great. Where did it come from?
I lived right next to these steep steps on River Street, and I’d just sit and watch jackassery all day long. You know: tourists who didn’t know what they were doing. I started the page just because I was bored. Before long, it became really fun.
Do you ever feel like you’ve gone too far with a post?
I don’t think I ever have. Believe it or not, I actually censor myself somewhat. I’m not out to piss off the world. I’m out to make fun of things—things I think everyone should think are funny. I never want to be mean-spirited.
Who are your favorite people in Savannah to make fun of?
As of late, probably Ben Carter. The city of Savannah is very divided on him—there are some people who think he’s a godsend. I personally don’t think so. I hope that I’m totally wrong about this guy and that he does some amazing things for the city. But I don’t see it happening.
How has Savannah changed since you started the page two years ago?
Well, the escalation in crime is just off the charts right now. That’s the most alarming thing for me. And I’m really curious to see what [Savannah-Chatham Metro Police Chief Joseph Lumpkin] is going to do about that. My verdict is not out on him yet, but I’m pretty anxious for him to get something going. It’s like the wild, wild West out here.
Do random people submit stuff to you for the page?
All the time. And it’s awesome. I love it. It started out as just making fun of people on the stairs, which became kind of a one-trick pony. And now it’s gotten to the point where people who are way funnier than I am send me great stuff. They keep me updated on things that don’t make the news.
Where are your favorite places to mine for material?
Everywhere. It’s Savannah! I’m a walker. I just walk around and find things. Ellis Square is great for people-watching. River Street. And Pinkie Masters, naturally. I post a LOT about Pinkie’s. The city of Savannah makes what I do easy.
Are you optimistic about Savannah’s future?
I’m hopeful. People get me wrong from time to time—I LOVE this city. But it just frustrates me and pisses me off when I see some things that are happening.
It starts at the top with the city council. In a perfect world, next election, I’d like to see them all gone and replaced with people who really want to make things happen and aren’t just sitting around bullsh*tting. I think local politics are a joke here.
Are you interested in running for office?
I’ve thought very seriously about it, but I’m not ready to commit to that yet.
What, if any, grander aspirations do you have for the page?
Well, I certainly intend for it to grow. Maybe a newspaper column. A few friends are helping me build a website right now.
Do you get a kick out of dropping the “F” bomb?
Absolutely! It’s my favorite f*ing word!
And why do you like it so much?
Believe it or not, I have a fairly extensive vocabulary, but sometimes I’m just too lazy. I love the way it rolls off the tongue.
Do you want to stay anonymous forever?
For now, yeah. One of my friends told me that I’m way more interesting on the page than in person. But once in a while, if someone sends me something really great, I’ll reach out and have them meet me so I can buy them a beer.